Internal Conflict Blogfest
The Alliterative Allomorph is hosting the Internal Conflict Blogfest. Check out the other participants through that link. I'm betting this will be a superb one!
I'm doing something a little different this go round. I do monthly writing exercises at the Compuserve Forum and am going to use the one we did for December. It was an SOC (stream of conscious) exercise, probably one of my favorite X's of all time. This is very much in the moment, no real sentence structure, grammar not so great. But the two scenes this brought about - I love.
The first SOC is MC Kasia; the second, her husband Jake. At this point in time they are having some major internal conflicts - both about her job in the FBI (dealing with sex traffickers), but in a different ways.
Kasia -
Boots. Next time I am wearing boots, not sneakers. My toes are numb for Gods sake. It's so damn cold here. And dark. Why did this have to be the middle of winter, in the woods, in Russia? You could be at a stadium right now. Warm, watching your hot husband amaze thousands of people. What were you thinking? It's hard to run in all these clothes. So many trees. God if I don't run us smack into a tree before we make it to the car I'll be lucky. So dark. Come on Natasha, keep up girl. So short, her legs make her slow. God, if I have to...Shit. Where is the sob? More important where's the gun pointed. Her. I see you now sob. You've got it pointed at her. Where are you [P]. Handel didn't pick you for me because you're a bad partner. Yeah, like I'm gonna drop my gun. Keep dreaming sob. Self preservtion is drilled into us. I have to come first, no way I'm losing the gun. I have a job to do whether she lives or dies. Short, she's short. You can't let her die and you know it. The gun''s pointed at her head. Do it now Kasia. Oh God. Jake's gonna be pissed. If I live, he is going to kill me for this. I've got at least a foot on her and he definitely has it pointed at her head. I have a jacket she has nothing. Jake's going to freak. Please let me live for him to freak. Where the hell are you [P] Shoot him. If I die, Jake will kill you instead. You know if he had a clear shot he'd have taken it. Calm down, he's here. He always here. Best partner ever. She's short, definitely enough difference. Do it now, and if [P's] here, and your lucky, he'll get his shot off first. Ouch. Sh!t. Oh my god. That hurt, that really fuckin' hurt. But I'm good, I was right. And that sob is dead. [P] got him. I knew he would. Would have been nice if he got his shot off first. This is going to leave a huge mark. Jake is going to kill me.
Jake -
I'll pretend it didn't happen. But it did. Jesus, she could be dead. How many times I have I said that to her. When will I be enough. I would have killed him for you, do you know that? I am the man that you want me to be, but I don't know how much longer I can be. It's so hard. I'm not that weak. I'm not that strong. Dead—for real dead. This is the only time she's all mine. Here, now. I can keep her safe now. But Isaac will call, there's always another girl. Damn Isaac. Damn Luka. Damn all of those girls. Everyone needs her. I need her. She's mine. Some isn't enough. She knows me too well, owns me. Knows exactly what to give me, what to say to make it all go away. I will own her. One day she'll let me. But not until they go away. They need her. I need her. All of her. Mine. She could be dead. But she can't save them all. And I can't protect her. I'm going to give her something to take care of. Something of her own that she can't let go. Proof. One day. She's going to let me. She has to. I need her more. I'm home. She's so warm. Alive. This time.
Comments
Stu - I've been doing these X's for 2 years now, and I have to say, none have helped me write a better scene (well 2 scenes) than the SOC. The 2nd seems a little more incoherent, but it's probably because 1.)I'm not a man, and was trying to get a handle on how Jake would be thinking. 2.) He's in the middle of something that probably is blocking a lot of coherent thoughts ;)
Tina - Thank you, girl :)
Aubrie - Oooh...suspenseful? Thank you! Since I write suspense, it's nice to know it comes through in my babbling even :)
This is fantastic, really, it keeps me thinking even after I read it.
I liked Kaisa's because something was actually happened whereas Jake was just thinking.
Not sure I could read a novel like this...I like action and dialog. ;)
Excellent job, Roland
I'm afraid if I attempted a SOC exercise like this, all that would come out is:
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
:)
Great job!!
Good post.
Andrew - Confusing, yes. Not to me, though. You're right, an entire novel would be a lot!
Thank you, SD.
Jaycee - Thanks :)
Shelley - This will all be for book 2, so I'm glad the voice is still there.
Awww, thank, Roland :)
DL - I doubt that very mush - you should try it!
SS - Yeah, for Jake it was love at first sight - he's enamored with her, even 8 years into marriage :)
Dawn - It's a lot of fun. Really gets the creativity flowing - and helps find nice little tidbits that one never knew their character was thinking.
love it!
SJ - Thanks, girl :)
VR - Thanks. Kasia's soc really brought me a great scene.
Nice!!
I just love Kasia's SOC. So much detail, such vivid imagery in her thoughts and perceptions. I could see out her eyes; and it wasn't a place I'd want to be.
Be still my pounding heart.
.........dhole
This is great!
I never thought of writing a steam of consciousness to get into a protagonist's head or to get an idea for a manuscript.
(aren't they fun to do?!)
I love, too, that you gave us his and hers POV's, and that they were each thinking of each other.
I also happen to love SOC (James Joyce's Ulysses is one of my favorite pieces of literature on the planet). I enjoyed this very much. Great job, Tara.
Thanks for sharing.
Love,
Lola
Lola - Been doing those exercises for 2 years, and I can't say enough about how helpful they are.
Amalia - Very difficult. And this copped bit is what brings things to a head, for both.
Theresa - Thank you :)
Mia - Wow! thanks. You should definitely try it.
Thanks, Creepy :)
Donna - That was my fave part of it, too. I thought it really showed their connection.
Jen - How sweet and encouraging, thank you!
SA - In context, his opening line said a whole lot ;) Thanks.
The action, the worry and regret, the tentative hope for things to change.
"I am the man that you want me to be, but I don't know how much longer I can be..."
That is the line that stuck out in my head. It speaks volumes about their relationship and dynamic.
Great post...following now, will stalk often. =)
Thanks. Blog stalkers always welcome ;)
Yeah, that's the book.
The whole thing is written from inside her mind in one long SOC piece.
Your piece reminded me of that. Yours read like a first draft -- impatient and unedited -- but if you put your mind to it, you could chug out something like Steve did with Dolores.
If you haven't read that book, and you like SOC, well, read that book.
Good job on your piece. It's a whirlpool of consciousness, not so much a stream.
WOC, not SOC.
Get it?
- Eric