"Let's Talk"
Day two of the week an already another blogfest. This will probably be my last for a while. I love them a little too much, and I am going to have to slow way down on blog time to concentrate on the finishing touches of my WiP. My aim is to get it out before the end of June.
So, the "Let's Talk" Blogfest is being hosted by Roni at Fiction Groupie. It's all about dialogue. (I heart dialogue.)
This scene is from Roulette, and I have choppped it for the purposes of this fest (sorry if it reads choppy!). Trying to keep it down to the dialogue. It's the middle of the night after Jake and Kasia's first time (Kasia's first time altogether), and this scene got the axe from the WiP, but I liked it too much not share somewhere.
Roulette
I tried to pay attention to the planets and constellations as Jake pointed them out, but the gentle lapping of the ocean onto the shore, and the warmth of his body around mine, lulled me to the edge of sleep.
"You okay?" He tucked a wisp of hair behind my ear.
"Mmm." I snuggled deep, nose nuzzled into his neck. "Tell me about your first time."
The vibrations of a silent chuckle echoed against my shoulder.
"You're not every girl I've ever met." He let out a muffled snort. "Hell, you're not any girl I've ever met."
I removed my nose from his warmth and tilted my head to look into his glittering baby-brown's.
"Reason 9,034 that I love you," he said.
"All this time and you've only gotten to 9,000?" I mimicked Klara's pout-lip move.
This time he laughed out loud, prompting a bird from a nearby palm to flutter away.
"No, that's just all I can put my finger on - so far."
"Stop avoiding."
"Right." His eyes grew dark, scanning the ocean for a long moment, before the fireworks returned to brighten them. "Believe it or not, it was more pathetic than ours." Even lying down he managed his half-shrug. "I promise, I usually have a little more, uh, staying power."
"Considering how long you've been patiently waiting," I stretched up to kiss the tip of his now-pink nose, "three minutes was impressive."
More vibrations pulsated my shoulder, then he rolled to his back, hands behind his head. I propped myself with an elbow, as I traced the faint trail of dark curls below his navel.
"Let me guess…she was tall and blonde?"
He offered the grin that made me want to smack him and ravage his body at the same time.
"That easy, am I?"
"Easy? You made me beg for months before you finally let me have my way with you."
"Was I right, Kasz?" In one swift motion he rolled back to his side, palm smoothing over the curve of my waist before he firmed its grip and pulled me against him. His now blazing eyes locked into my soul.
"Entirely." Powerless to look away, I bit hard onto the insides of my cheeks and tried to remember to breathe.
His own breath warm on my face, he stared into my eyes, wordless, searching for signs I'd retreat inside myself at his serious turn. His soft kiss on my forehead sent chills through my body.
"The act itself was always purely physical. After, I just felt…I don't know…" he trailed off, running a hand through his wild hair. "Empty."
Not trusting my voice, I let my fingertips glide up his back, over his shoulder and neck until they reached his lips. My thumb outlined them, drawing a smile across as it moved.
"Everything's so different with you." His voice was a whisper. "I found my forever."
I wanted so badly to open my mouth and tell him I understood. But try as I might, the words refused to leave my lips. A gentle finger landed across them, instead.
"It's enough to know you're trying to say it."
"Will it hurt if we do it again, do you think?" I asked.
"Probably. I can wait." The words were sure, but his hope, pressed solid between us, betrayed him.
"I don't think I care." My hips tilted forward, inviting.
"Jesus, Kasz." He moved down, our bodies melding into one. "I don't think I do either."
I dug sharp fingernails into his shoulders. The air squeezed from my lungs as his weight pressed me into the blanket, molding my body into the still sun-warmed sand.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"Never be." My words came breathy and uneven; he deserved more of them. "You're mine, too."
***UPDATE***
Since there are SO many people signed up, I am going to start my reading rounds with everyone commenting on mine. I always make sure to read every entry to any blogfest I participate in, so then I will head to the list - but it will take a couple days to get to everyone! Wow, this was a popular one!
Comments
I did get around to thanking you and answering the tagged questions from last week:
http://feelofsomethingnew.blogspot.com/2010/05/tag-im-it.html
Thanks and enjoy your day.
Great job, though, Tara. As always, wonderful chemistry and interaction between Kasia and Jake. :-)
Just not feeling it :(
I did like the dialog though.
I'm with piedmont - yay for sex!
loved the descriptions at the end
Since it's a cut-piece, no sense critiquing, but funny how much we love some of our own slush, isn't it!
Kinda made me feel like a perv, though, reading it. I mean, I'm almost 40, and I'm reading about a ~virgin~!
YIKES! I can almost hear the sirens.
;)
- Eric
I'll have to surf your site for more of this story!!!
Summer - The "was I right" and "entirely" is a flashback play off the scene you'll be coming to next ;)
Susan - Word count. Word count. Word count. *sigh*
Thanks Christine.
Propinquity - Not sure about everything, lol. But, your comment meant a lot. Thanks.
SD - Go for it! Just make sure she doesn't read my blog ;)
Anne - Isn't morning sex the best...oh you mean to read ;p Yep, Kasia's my only virgin MC thus far. I can't wait til its published either. You're the best!
Stu - Thanks. They have a really playful and easy banter from the very start.
Eric - rofl! She's 20, so at least of age, right?
Thanks Falen :)
Andrew - They've been together a very long time and are beyond comfortable with one another. It holds very true to the way they interact. Besides, it's not right after - that conversation happened inside. This was after hours had passed. Thanks for commenting, though.
Love it though and really enjoyed a little insight into a scene that though deleted still shows character definition... ;o)
Visit My Kingdom Anytime
Like, Summer, I almost skipped this. I'm glad I didn't.
Nice job.
Love,
Lola
Reading all of the entries is pretty ambitious! Wish I had that kind of stamina.
Shelley - Awww! You are too sweet. Thank you so much for your comments :)
Will - Well, it's nowhere near his firt time ;)
Abby - Thanks.
Lola - Glad you like him. That's what I'm hoping for, for sure ;)
Courtney - You'll recognize right where it goes at some point :) Thanks.
Got me interested.
Deniz - Hey girl! Axe - word count = sad, LOL. I'm sorry to have left Austin hanging at the houeparty. I'm on way back and if you haven't done it already, I'll have Hunter give out those guitar lessons. This back and forth is killin' me. Phew.
Thank you, Sangu :)
Jemi - Thanks, I'm glad someone can tell, lol. It's hard to take a snip from the last 3rd of the WiP and have people "get it".
Oh, and lest I forget, the dialogue was excellent!
Amalia - How awesome are you! Thanks so much :)
Tina - Well, he does have a cottage on the beach ;)
VR - Thanks! I was going for just those things.
Shelli - Yeah, this is 2/3 of the way through the book, so they've had lots of relationship/background beforehand. Thanks for stopping by :)
Hopefully you can find another home for this scene!
~Lia
This is one of the better scenes that I've read so far. Nice, sensuous piece without getting graphic.
Very nice!
I can't think of what you could have cut out - it feels very tight.
And I have to agree with you - I'm going to take several days to get through them all, and I'm giving priority to those who comment on mine. (I feel that way about responding - comments deserve responses and acknowledgement unless you've reached a point that you can't respond to everything because you regularly get a lot.)
Roh - Wow, indeed. Your kind comment meant a lot :) Welcome to my blog (fellow NIN fan!).
ralfast - People are still going through the list - I think I have 40 to go, yikes. I'll be making my way to yours in a minute :)
Bookwyrme - Thank you. I suppose, for his first, he was a lot younger than she is here ;)
Margo - That was one of my fave parts, too. Kasia is rarely shows that side, but when she does she goes all the way. Thank you for the nice comment :)
DL - Thanks. I guess you could always let me know if there's a place for it ;)
Tricia - That's a hard thing to capture, so glad you saw it :)
I came away from this wanting to read more, which is a hard thing to accomplish when I'm jumping in the middle of a story I know nothing about. I thought the scene was extremely well done!
We're having another contest on our website if you want to shoot over. All you have to do is name the chimera. :) We've got some great prizes! Hope to see you over there. :)
Again, I really loved this scene, great job!
Thanks for popping by and reading my short extract. I am now following you..:)
I know what you mean about reading the blogfest entries taking time. Obviously this is a BIG one!
Thanks for your comment on mine - it was only half the scene though
It's nice to see so many people in the blogfest. I didn't get a chance to read as many postings as I wanted to.
Is there anything I can say to change your mind about keeping this scene? (I just thought I would try)
Great job!
And I know what you mean about the big blogfest. Whew! It'll take me a few more days to get around to all of them. I make it a point to visit the blogs I follow first before searching for new blog buddies. Thank you for visiting my blog, too!
Funny, I'd started this with the intention of it being a borderline erotic romance. Kasia herself took over and turned it into romantic suspense ;)
Patricia - I did rework some of it into the previous scene, which is similar. And, there are other like it in the WiP.
Write Chick - Thanks, that's what I was shooting for here.
RaShelle - Well, his hair is always kiinda wild. I suppose after sex and then lying on the beach it was really crazy ;)
Thanks Mary Anne.
Creepy - Thanks :)
WB - Thanks you.
Christina - Fanning yourself? Wow, thanks :)
L'Aussie - Aww, thanks so much for that. Welcome to the blog :)
Ruth - What an encouraging this to hear :)
Genie - J&K communicate like not other couple - it's their best asset. It began on the first night they met.
Callie - I checked out the contest, but I am totally not clever enough to pick a name for that cool guy. I'd probably go for Fred or Rufus, lol. Thanks for stopping by - and for the sweet comments!
I'd love to know how long it took you to write this scene. I always feel like my romance scenes take me forever to write. Sometimes I have to get up from my computer and leave the room for a minute, so I can clear my mind a bit.
Thank you for sharing this with us!
I have the same issue with the really tension packed scenes. I can only write so much then I have to get up and take a break.